Friday, May 30, 2008

The DIA's Weird Mural

Denver Airport Creepy Mural
F.G.E.O.T.P. correspondent Maggie Paino delivers the goods with this snap from that creepy Freemason mural at the Denver Airport. Word on the street is there are more where this came from. Freemason meeting ground for the new world order of reptilians or not, the DIA is one of the most weirdly decorated airports out there.

Wee Wee See?

Wee Wee See
There's some urban legends show on the Discovery Channel right now, and they just debunked that one myth about there being a chemical in pools that will turn urine red.

I guess I never really questioned that legend, but it certainly makes sense that it isn't true. If it has been mentioned on a TV show though, it might as well be true, right? This legend was immortalized in the "Splashdown" episode of The Adventures of Pete and Pete, where the chemical was called "Wee-Wee See" (<- the whole episode is there on Google Video!) and it was manufactured by the ubiquitous Krebstar brand. But here's the thing. What this TV program said was that although this legend is false, we all benefit from the fact that children still believe this story because it keeps them from peeing in the pool. Basically what they are saying is "Let's keep it that way" and I think I might just agree with them. There are worse things that can get be deposited in a pool (Baby Ruth, anyone?) but I'd rather just not think about the pee in there, ya know. Like Santa Claus, a little lie that can scare little kids into being good might not be such a bad thang.* Wee Wee See

*Speaking of the word "thang" I once worked with a guy whose name was Thang. He was from like Laos or Vietnam or something. This was at the height of this word's popularity. We all got a real kick out of embedding his name into simple little jokes that were spoken in honkified Snoop Dog parlance.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Recently Viewed Movies

So, school is out and movie-watching is in. I'm not sick of it yet, so I've been "feeding" my "brain" with a steady stream of movies via my revived Karagarga* account and a free month of Netflix.

My five word reviews:

  • The Lives of Others -80's East Germany totally sucked.
  • My Kid Could Paint That - Dad helped? Genre bogus anyway!
  • The White Diamond - Gotta love intense German men.
  • Paris, je t'aime - Even bad ones over quickly.
  • Baby Mama - Your friends: Wingspan and Banjo.
  • Ironman - Big budget, boring experience = meh...
  • American Teen - Warsaw, Indiana felt very important.
  • Triumph of the Nerds pt. 1 - Young Jobs resembles Tim Kinsella.
  • Down and Derby - Pat Morita barely in it.
  • That new Indiana Jones - Spoiler alert: There are aliens.
  • 10 MPH - Dude rides Segway long distances.
So yeah, I signed up for Netflix. At least for the first free month (thanks K.V.!). I'm trying to get as many movies in as possible during that time, and then I might bump down to a cheaper plan or cancel, depending on what I think. You can add me as a friend there of you want, I am like such a loser on there right now, I'm like the new kid at school or something. Have pity on me. Have any good recommendations? I only have 50 movies in my cue (most are Northern Exposure season 3 and Dr. Katz discs, so help me out here).

*A word about Karagarga, it is a "private bittorrent community specializing in arthouse, alternative, cult and classic movies" and it's so wonderfully snobby that they once revoked someone's account for uploading High Fidelity. And that is why I love it. Sure, Tommy Boy is one of my favorite movies, but Karagarga has more weird and interesting indie movies from around the world than I would ever be able to watch in a whole lifetime, and their downloads are ridiculously fast. When I watch my computer as movies are downloading from there, I think to myself "I didn't know that my internet was capable of going this fast," like, whole 1.4 GB movies in 20 minutes, etc. Getting an account on this site was more trouble than applying for college (for example, I had to write an essay explaining what I could bring to the community, etc.), but it has been totally worth it. Snobbery has very high standards, and that is why I love Karagarga.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Diagonal Cities

Diagonal Cities

I'm just trying to make Commander Mark proud. Can you spot the M.C. Escherisms? There are like two.

Friday, May 23, 2008



Monday, May 19, 2008

Friday, May 16, 2008

Monday, May 12, 2008

Friday Night Lights - My Favorite People as of Season 1

OK people, this is important:
Here it is, my list of favorite characters from the first season of Friday Night Lights, in order.

1. Landry. Wins by a huge margin. This guy just keeps getting better and better. First off, we find out that not only is he good at math and at being the friend of Matt, he is the frontman for the brutally heavy local Christian hardcore band Crucifictorious. Then, things start to kind of pick up with Tyra, the girl considered by many to be the biggest babe on the show. He is pretty awkward, but it's awesome because the guy has integrity out the wazoo. Also, for some reason he is the ref for the Powderpuff football game, and he gives Coach Taylor a yellow card or something.

2. Matt Saracen. I mean, I know this is kind of obvious, but you can't help but LOVE the kid. Takes care of his grandma, his dad is in Iraq, he works at the DQ-type place, and gets pushed around by Julie (who is actually the one character on the show who keeps getting worse and worse). Julie was pretty awesome at first, but she has just had some bad ideas towards the end of the season. Let me list them:

  • It was her idea to have sex with Matt (they didn't do it though). Matt would never have thought to go there in a million years.
  • Mouthing off to her parents.
  • Ditching her nerdy friends.
  • Doing slutty dance routines to bad music.
  • Just generally being a little too precious about stuff.
Anyway, enough about her. Matt Saracen. "He's a good kid." You know who always says that? Read on:

3. Coach Taylor. This may be obvious, but it's kind of not obvious too. He screams at high school kids for a living - He's a football coach. He dresses like someone I would normally want to punch. But the man has a huge heart and total integrity. The dude is trying to do what is right and get his daughter the hell out of Dillon Texas before she becomes "one of them." But what makes him so endearing is that he is utterly and completely hopeless without his wife:

4. Mrs. Taylor, guidance counselor. I think her first name is Tammy. She is amazing. I wouldn't normally like a woman of her style, but man, she is really awesome. Her "don't have sex" speech to Julie is about the most heartfelt mother-to-daughter talk I have ever seen on television, or real life, I'm not sure. She sees it all, every day in that guidance counselor's office, and you can tell that she really actually wants to help. Her relationship with her husband is very real and very healthy. They fight, they prod at each other, and they make mistakes, but when they make it right they really make it right. Like her husband, she is a woman of mad integrity, and you gotta love her for it.

5. Tim Riggins. I know this is a controversial stance to take, but come on, the dude has made a serious comeback. First off, the guy has mojo. He gets with all of the hottest girls: Tyra, Lyla, AND the kid from next door's mom. And he has very real issues. His dad stole a video camera, for example. He is constantly drinking brewskies. He is obviously weak and accepts that. His lack of ambition is kind of refreshing, especially compared to hotheads like that Smash Williams. He's just so... I dunno. So Brokeback. You hate him so much of the time, that when he does something even misdirectedly good, it seems like the awesomest thing in the world.

6. Herc. Who is Herc, you ask? Herc is the wheelchair guy. The other wheelchair guy besides Jason Street. At first, I hated him, but then everything he said turned out to be true. This guy has a crystal ball for the lives of people in wheelchairs. Herc is spot-on about everything. He has no time for pity because he's out there being totally obnoxious and awesome. If I met him in real life he would probably roll his eyes at me and tell me to get the hell out of his way. And that's what I love about the guy. He isn't on the show that often, but when he is, it's a total party.

7. Tyra. She is... something else. She's pretty free with her love sometimes (dude from LA, and Smash Williams on his mamma's couch), but she pulls it off with flair. Sure, her mom is one of those irresponsible drinkin' moms and her sister is a stripper, but Tyra's "aggressive bitch" attitude is really starting to grow on me. And maybe the fact that Landry is into her makes me want to be into her too. Maybe it's how mean she is to Lyla Garrity. Maybe it was her stellar performance at the Powder Puff football game. Or maybe it was that she told Julie Taylor that she didn't have to have sex and that she was actually being kind of lame about it. She's a good girl, waitressing at Applebee's, workin' with what she's got, kinda being the female parallel to Tim Riggins, which is not a surprise seeing as how they went out for so long, although she constantly calls him out on being a loser, but I think she does it so that he will try harder.

There you have it. These are my picks. I hope (or do I?) that season 2 doesn't shake up these opinions too much! We shall see!

P. S. Honorable mentions go to Mrs. Williams and Waverly. Oh Waverly!!!!

In closing, you can go ahead and buy me this shirt in a size small. The price has been reduced, I have no idea why...