Monday, November 17, 2008

Seriously, Who DOES This?

whoDOESthis

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE, GET OVER YOURSELVES!!!

Sorry about the caps lock, and sorry about the picture. Yeah, I know this is gross, but seriously, who DOES this? What kind of person is that ridiculously germophobic and wasteful? I saw this with my own eyes, and was so disgusted/amazed that I had to take a picture of it. I can count at least TWELVE layers of toilet paper on this toilet seat. This is clearly not the work of someone who poops outside of their own house very often, because it looks like it took about twenty minutes just to set up, and most people can't wait that long. The more I think about this scenario, the stranger it gets, because there's something very emergency about this scene, but also something very calculated.

I imagine some (literally) anally retentive dude, possibly wearing rubber gloves, trying incredibly hard to keep the "turtle's head" in check while making sure every inch of this toilet seat is covered and then covered again. He finally cautiously sits down, the whole time saying "Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!" The results, although pixelated here, speak for themselves. Then he leaves his little masterpiece for the rest of the world to see.

Later, some other dude comes in and pees on this fellow's toilet paper sculpture. You can see it there near the top.

I mean, seriously, I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure there are like zero diseases that you can catch from a toilet seat. The concept of toilet seat covers grosses me out infinitely more than the thought of the non-existent cooties you might get from a toilet seat. Case in point:

IMG_2721

Sick. And wasteful. And just weird.

4 comments:

Jennie said...

That is disgusting! I don't sit on public toilet seats...but I also don't go to those lengths to avoid it. I just think it is nasty to sit where people splatter their pee and poo all day long...

Unknown said...

Hmm. I mean, I know a lot of crazy chicks in my office who do that sort of thing when the toilet seat covers run out, but I didn't realize it happened in the men's room as well. That's... weird.

davor said...

Turtle head. OMG.

Torlando Hakes said...

oh yeah, I am a big supporter of the three strip method, one across the back and two along the sides. Not all of us were on the middle school wrestling team mike, not all of us can just poo anywhere, some of us don't want bro poo splatter on the bottom surface of our legs. I think I'll write to Obama to get an earmark on sani's for the whole nation. I mean, somebody's butt was there, that's gross.