Dear Paul Rubens

Dear Paul Reubens

I'm sure you get this all the time, but I must say that I loved Big Adventure! I think that it really captures the spirit of the United States of America. Not that I am really that big of a patriot, I mean, I'm not all like "USA! USA!" or whatever, but I remember when my German uncle watched it, he did not seem to get it, and that was when my dad said that he thought that there was something distinctly American about the humor used in Big Adventure. Now that I am older, I can defintitely see what he means.

I guess I kind of relate with Pee-Wee's character. Sometimes I feel like a big kid. I am 29 years old, and I still get pretty excited about candy and being able to play with stuff.

Do you harbor ill feelings against the United States? Do you feel that this country has given you a bad rap? I guess when you got caught masturbating in that theater, a lot of people felt like their childhoods died, but not me. I was already old enough to know that it wasn't that big of a deal, that it was something that lots of people do (especially when they are watching pornography) and that you just happened to get caught. The very country in which your genius and humor thrived was also the place that condemned behavior that is probably not that out of the ordinary given the circumstances. Good thing there aren't any laws about making The Great American Movie, because that is what you did, and you succeeded brilliantly, Paul Reubens!!!

Now, I know that you and Pee Wee are not the same person, in fact, Pee Wee Herman is not a real person at all, but still, I feel like in Big Adventure, although he is a loner, and a rebel and all of that, Pee Wee is looking for some kind of a greater connection, a connection with something besides his bike, if you know what I mean. Like, he is this overgrown kid, with no parents and only loosely affiliated friends, but yet he seems to be searching for something, and the bike is just a symbol of what it is that he really wants. Would you agree that it is safe to say that Pee Wee is looking for connection because he was abandoned by his parents and was an orphan? After being orphaned, he traveled in the circus until he got injured in a bike+guy-getting-shot-out-of-cannon collision and then settled out of court for a sum large enough to allow him to live and not work in the Pamona area for the rest of his life, right? This background is widely accepted among Big Adventure scholars. I mean, I know the movie never really comes out and says it, but that's true, right? I mean, it's not that he doesn't want to be with Dotty (who wouldn't!?), it's that he can't trust her, because his parents betrayed him. Right? He fills his world with joyful surroundings (like look at the decorations in his house) but it's kind of a cover up. The Rube Goldberg-esque breakfast-making machine is just a replacement for real parents who could have been the ones serving him Mr. T. cereal (and it is possible that Mr. T. and his breakfast cereal represent Pee-Wee's longing for a real authority figure).

What do you do most of the day? I heard there is a new Pee-Wee movie in the works. I'm sure you get this all the time, but I for one would like to see it turn out more like Big Adventure and a little less like Big Top. Are you sick of hearing that? Nobody really wanted to see you lose your virginity in a circus movie. Although, I will say this:
"Egg salad? My favorite!" That part was pretty funny.

Well, what can I say. I love you man. You are truly an inspiration to us all (I'll say, I'm going to start a paper route right now). You have weathered life's trials well. I work at a toy store, so I kind of know where you are coming from with a lot of your things, but I just want you to know that we all feel pain, and that that pain can sometimes eat away at the things we once loved the most, the things that we woke up to, the things that make us keep on keeping on, the thing that kept Pee-Wee searching after his bike, you know, whatever. If you ever need someone to talk to, my number is on the envelope. I would love to give you suggestions for funny things Pee-Wee might say in his new movie, and I can even do the voice pretty well.

I feel like I am your friend.

So,

Your Friend,

-Amazing Larry